The holiday season can bring both joy and stress for people in eating disorder recovery. Food centered gatherings, shifting routines, and social expectations often stir anxiety, guilt, or comparison. Even caring remarks about plates or bodies can add tension in otherwise warm spaces.

At Monte Nido, we recognize that recovery continues through every season. You deserve a plan that protects your peace and honors your needs. With forethought, boundaries, and steady support, it is possible to participate while staying grounded.

This guide offers practical preparation ideas, coping tools for events, and ways loved ones can help without pressure. Our purpose is to provide guidance, compassion, and community so you can stay connected to your values and recovery all season long.  

Why the Holidays Can Be Difficult for Those in Eating Disorder Recovery

The holidays often interrupt structure and familiar coping patterns. Even joyful changes can feel destabilizing when routines shift away from predictable meals, sleep, and appointments. Food-centered traditions may add pressure, while comments about dieting, discipline, or earning food can elevate anxiety and shame. Expectations to appear cheerful can also make it harder to voice distress and ask for help.

Common stressors include:

• Altered meal schedules that disrupt consistency

• Food focused gatherings and commentary about eating or exercise

• Family dynamics that reactivate old emotions or conflict

• Social media comparison and transformation culture

• Financial strain, travel, or fatigue that increase stress

• Loneliness when plans change or expectations go unmet

These experiences are normal. Feeling anxious around food or wanting extra space is not a failure. It is a human response to a demanding season. Helpful reframes include allowing flexibility, focusing on connection rather than performance, naming emotions to reduce shame, and choosing small stabilizing actions. Acknowledging triggers early helps you plan care rather than react and reminds you that you are not alone in finding the holidays difficult.

Planning for these realities reduces surprise. Share your concerns with trusted people, outline simple meals for travel days, and decide on gentle exits from conversations that feel unsafe. Clarify what support looks like for you, such as a brief check-in, a reassuring text, or a quiet step outside. Naming needs aloud invites connection and turns pressure into a plan.

How to Prepare for the Holiday Season

Preparation helps turn uncertainty into structure. Collaborate with your treatment team to create a plan that protects balance while leaving room for joy and spontaneity.

Plan ahead

• Schedule therapy or nutrition sessions during stressful weeks

• Create meal outlines and backup options for travel days

• Discuss potential triggers and practice grounding tools

Build safety and comfort

• Bring familiar foods or snacks to events

• Locate a quiet space for breaks if needed

• Identify one supportive person to check in during gatherings

Assemble an emotional toolkit

• Affirmations such as “I can choose calm” or “my needs are valid”

• Grounding activities like paced breathing or short walks

• Crisis and after-hours numbers saved in your phone

Reflect before events

• What helps me feel steady

• What early signs show I need rest or support

• Who can I contact if emotions intensify

Write these details down and share them with an ally. Preparation is not control. It is care. Thoughtful planning allows you to enter the season with steadiness, self-trust, and a clear path back to center when stress rises.

Revisit the plan after each gathering and update it with what helped. Small edits, like packing an extra snack, moving a seat, or texting a friend earlier, can protect energy. Preparation is a living document that evolves with your needs across the season.

Coping Strategies for Holiday Gatherings

Gatherings can feel unpredictable. Having tools ready helps you stay connected, nourished, and grounded.

Practice mindfulness

• Notice sounds, colors, and textures around you

• Take several slow breaths before eating

• Focus on conversation, music, or laughter instead of judgmental thoughts

• Offer brief gratitude for comfort or companionship

Maintain nourishment

• Eat your regular meals and snacks

• Avoid skipping meals to save up for an event

• Keep water and trusted snacks nearby

• Plan gentle movement or rest afterward

Set boundaries

• Redirect diet or body talk with “I am focusing on being present today”

• Excuse yourself for a brief reset if conversations feel heavy

• Ask a trusted person to help steer discussion toward neutral topics

• Decide beforehand which discussions you will not engage in

Stay connected

• Arrange a check in text before and after the event

• Choose seating or activities that lower stress

• Limit time if shorter visits support stability

• Schedule calming rituals afterward such as music, journaling, or a walk

Be compassionate with yourself

• No one handles every moment flawlessly

• Taking breaks shows awareness, not weakness

• Each kind choice supports recovery

Combine structure with gentleness. If a plan stops working, adjust it and begin again. Flexibility is real resilience.

If anxiety spikes, try a name three things you can see, two you can hear, and one you can feel exercise. Pair it with slow exhales that last longer than inhales. These small resets keep you oriented to the present and give your body a sense of safety while the moment passes.

What to Do If You Experience a Setback

Setbacks can happen, especially during emotional seasons. They do not erase your work. What matters most is the supportive step you take next.

When challenges arise

• Pause and breathe, then name the feeling without judgment

• Remind yourself that lapses are information, not failure
  • Identify a likely trigger and one small helpful action
  • Contact your therapist, dietitian, or a trusted friend
  • Rebuild structure with consistent meals, hydration, and rest
  • Use affirmations such as “I can begin again” and “this moment will pass”

Reflect and regroup
• What helped me the last time I felt this way
• What small action can ground me today
• What support will help me stay accountable

Return to basics. If guilt appears, notice it and practice compassion instead of punishment. Start again at the next meal, the next hour, or the next breath. You are still moving forward, and every caring choice strengthens recovery.

If urges remain strong, shorten your timeline. Focus on the next ten minutes, then the next hour. Eat a supportive snack, sip water, or step outside for fresh air. Text a brief update to an ally so you do not carry it alone. Let structure hold you while feelings settle.

How to Support a Loved One With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays

Support from loved ones can make holidays safer and more peaceful. The aim is presence, not perfection or policing.

Offer understanding
• Ask open questions such as “how can I support you right now?”
• Listen fully without interrupting or solving
• Validate feelings and thank them for sharing honestly

Avoid triggering language
• Skip remarks about diets, weight, or appearance
• Avoid labeling foods as good or bad
• Focus conversation on connection rather than consumption

Create a recovery friendly environment
• Plan activities that are not food focused, like games or crafts
• Provide flexible seating or a quiet space for breaks
• Check in privately if your loved one seems overwhelmed

Model balanced behavior
• Eat intuitively and talk neutrally about food
• Express gratitude for shared time rather than appearance
• Allow rest or early exits without guilt

Encourage continued care
• Offer rides or reminders for appointments
• Ask before giving advice to respect autonomy
• Celebrate small recovery efforts with sincerity

If conflict surfaces, redirect with a neutral topic or pause. After gatherings, reflect together on what felt supportive and what to adjust next time. Consistency communicates safety more than perfect words.

Consider agreeing on a simple signal to indicate a need for support or a short break. Plan a soothing ritual for the ride home, such as music, a warm drink, or silence. Small, reliable gestures demonstrate care and help your loved one feel seen and safe. Remember that your steadiness matters most. Consistent, calm presence is often more healing than any perfect script or plan.

How Community and Connection Can Reinforce Recovery

Recovery strengthens in connection. Shared experiences remind us that healing is possible and that no one must face the holidays alone.

Ways to stay connected
• Join alumni or peer support groups, virtual or in person
• Reach out to friends who respect your recovery goals
• Volunteer or participate in community service for purpose and belonging
• Pair with a recovery buddy for accountability

Benefits of connection
• Provides perspective when perfectionism feels loud
• Encourages regular meals and self-care routines
• Builds confidence in asking for help
• Replaces isolation with empathy and understanding

At Monte Nido, we emphasize inclusivity and belonging for every identity. If groups feel intimidating, start small. Send one text to a trusted friend, attend part of a meeting, or share one honest moment in conversation. Each outreach strengthens resilience. Over time, these small threads weave connection into daily life, creating the network that supports long term recovery through every season.

Connection can be creative. Share your favorite recipes, trade encouraging notes, or schedule a low-pressure video call. Start where it feels doable and celebrate each step. Consistency matters more than intensity. If large groups feel daunting, meet one person for a short walk or a brief call. Bit by bit, connection grows easier and more natural.

Building New, Recovery-Aligned Traditions

Recovery invites new traditions that focus on connection and calm rather than food or appearance. Small shifts can transform the season into something more peaceful and inclusive.

Ideas for new traditions
• Write gratitude letters or reflection cards
• Take a morning mindful walk or drive to see lights
• Share a playlist of meaningful songs
• Volunteer or create care packages for neighbors

Bring mindfulness into celebrations
• Begin with a moment of breathing or gratitude
• Invite guests to share kind memories or lessons from the year
• Keep focus on relationships and shared joy

Reframe what celebration means
• Let plans stay flexible and rest friendly
• Measure success by comfort and connection, not control
• Acknowledge moments of warmth as true wins

Invite loved ones to help design one new ritual this year and review how it felt afterward. Keep what worked and release what did not. Traditions are living things. Choosing meaning over pressure keeps the season anchored in authenticity and care.

When food traditions are important, add complementary rituals that broaden the spotlight. Share stories, create a gratitude jar, or build a collaborative photo album. Expanding what celebration means can make participation feel safer and more inclusive for everyone.

Stay Connected to Support During the Holidays

Support does not stop when routines change. Staying connected can steady you through stressful days and long weeks.

Keep treatment consistent
• Maintain therapy, nutrition, or group sessions when possible
• Use brief check ins if full appointments are not available
• Share your holiday plan with your team for accountability

Use recovery tools
• Journal to process emotions and track triggers
• Practice affirmations such as “I deserve rest and nourishment”
• Keep supportive snacks and water nearby

Stay in contact
• Plan check ins with friends before and after gatherings
• Join online alumni or peer communities for encouragement
• Save crisis and after hours contacts in your phone

Even brief connections, like a message or a shared walk, can reaffirm recovery goals and keep momentum steady. Make connection part of your schedule, not an afterthought. Place these touch points on a calendar to make them real. Gentle structure keeps connection from slipping when days get busy.

The Holidays Don’t Define Your Recovery

The holidays are only one part of your recovery journey. They do not measure your progress or your worth.

When stress rises, return to your foundation
• Regular meals/snacks and hydration
• Connection with supportive people
• Compassionate self-talk
• Adequate rest and gentle movement

Recovery is persistence with kindness, not perfection. Some days will feel easy, others difficult, and both are valid. Each choice to care for yourself reinforces healing and hope. You deserve a season guided by peace, gratitude, and rest, and a year ahead with room for growth and balance.

Hold space for imperfection. One hard moment does not cancel progress. Begin again with the next supportive action and allow hope to stay in the room.